


Mothers and Sons and Runaways

by Tonight_At_Noon



Category: The End of the F'ing World (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Maybe - Freeform, Romance, a healthy mixture of the two, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 11:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13433463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonight_At_Noon/pseuds/Tonight_At_Noon
Summary: James takes Alyssa to visit his mother.





	Mothers and Sons and Runaways

It was dark when we arrived at the cemetery. The only light offered to us came from the sky. Moonlight and starlight blazed down, creating a path for our tired feet. But I would know where I was going without the help from above. My dad hated coming here. It made him too despondent to move. The one time he took me after the funeral, his knees buckled when we reached the wrought iron gate and he told me to go on without him. And there I was, an eight-year-old boy alone in the graveyard, his dead mother beneath his small feet. 

After that, I never asked him to take me again. But him not coming with me didn’t stop me from making the journey on my own. I would sneak out at night once a week, no matter the weather, no matter if there was school in the morning, and I would bring Mum a single flower plucked from the garden across the road from my house.

Sometimes that was all I did. I dropped the flower and ran. Usually, though, I stuck around for a while. I would speak to her, hearing her voice in the rustling of the leaves. Once, I lost track of time and had to sneak on a bus as the sun started rising, rushing home before Dad realised I was missing. My teacher the next morning gave me a pathetic look when I came through the doorway. She mistook my weariness for sorrow.

Alyssa and I had been evading the police for more than two weeks. That meant I had missed out on two expeditions through the eerily quiet, chilled graveyard. It was silly of us to be there, really. Everyone was looking for us. People with _guns_ were looking for us.

But Alyssa had said she wanted to meet my mum, and I found myself so under her spell and so surprised by her request that we traced our way back home.

With scratches on our arms from sharp tree branches and dark, heavy bags underneath our bleary eyes, we reached the tall gate. Alyssa snaked her fingers through mine. I glanced sideways at her, my mouth filling with cotton, my hand bubbling with sweat at the look of her pale, freckled face in the light of the moon.

What was she doing with me? I mean, why was she still here? None of it added up. Sometimes, when she was asleep, I wondered if she was just some figment of my wild, fucked-up imagination. I half-expected her to disappear come morning. But each time I opened my eyes, there she was, watching me come awake with a smile pulling gently at her warm lips.

“We don’t have to,” she said as I reached out for the gate with my spare hand. It was my burned one—Alyssa really didn’t like holding it. She had taken to always walking on my right side.

I shook my head. “I want to.” That was a small lie. I didn’t really want to. I wanted, really, to run across to the mainland of Europe with Alyssa. Right that very moment, I was going through escape plans in case someone spotted us. But, as I had learned, lying was important sometimes.

“Okay.”

She squeezed my hand and I opened the gate. I guided us through, knowing by heart the way to my mother’s grave.

“It’s scary here,” Alyssa said as we neared our destination. “I feel like that guy from those _Halloween_ movies could jump out at us at any moment.”

“Michael Meyers is American,” I said, but I held her closer. She shivered against me.

I took Alyssa off the gritty pathway when we had arrived. Suddenly, I felt ill. Like I had swallowed some large, chalky capsule that was sitting unhappily in my stomach.

Someone was invading my private space. Logically, I knew it was Alyssa. I knew if there was one person I wanted by my side when coming to see my mum it was always going to be Alyssa. But this was my decade-old secret. It was hard to let go of these sorts of things.

Alyssa gently nudged my arm with her shoulder. “Is this it?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I croaked, pointing. “She’s right here.”

The old flower I had placed there weeks ago had completely withered and curled in on itself. My throat, as I stared at its feeble stem, at its broken petals, tightened. Frantically, I looked around. I spotted a fresh bouquet resting neatly on the headstone directly in front of Mum’s. Releasing Alyssa, I stepped away and plucked a white daisy from the bunch.

As I returned to Alyssa’s side, ignoring her questioning look, I inhaled a great breath and dropped the flower.

“It’s beautiful, James,” she said to me as if she could read my thoughts.

She was divine. Not of this earth. There was no way she had been born into this broken world. She must have come down from Heaven to save me.

I took her hand again, allowing myself to smile when she gently rested her head against my shoulder. Her hair tickled, but the feeling her warmth instilled within me was enough to help ease the discomfort.

I think I was in love with her.

“Thanks for taking me here,” Alyssa said. She had turned her head. Her lips moved against the skin of my neck, just below my ear. “I know it’s hard for you.”

She knew everything. Even the things I didn’t tell her. The things I didn’t think.

“I’m glad I’m here with you,” I said. It was the truth, I realised belatedly. “It makes it easier.”

We stood on the green grass. Nighttime bugs slithered through the air, startling me every now and then.

“Do you think,” Alyssa said, “that she would have liked me.”

I pulled away from her. Her hand still in mine, I brought it to my mouth and kissed her knuckles. “Of course,” I said. Mum really would have. I think Alyssa would have melted away her sadness. “She would have loved you.”

Alyssa’s grin spread wide. Beneath the moon, I saw her cheeks darken.

A gentle breeze lifted her blond hair. I tucked a few strands behind her ear, running my finger along her jaw as I retracted my disfigured hand.

Her smile dropped a little bit as her already dilated pupils widened. Moving closer, closer, Alyssa pressed her mouth to mine. My eyes slipped closed—they had started doing that without me having to tell them—and I reached around to hold Alyssa to me. I felt her heart beating against my chest, hard and loud. She could feel mine too. They crashed together, trying to escape our bodies so they could become one.

“We have to go,” I said thickly. My eyes snapped open.

“I know,” she said. She stared at me, her blue eyes seemingly gazing into my mind. “You’re wonderful, James. I know it, and so does your mum.”

 _Then why did she leave me_ I wanted to ask. I had wanted to ask that question ever since it happened.

But I held my tongue.

“Come one.” I led her out of the graveyard, saying a quick goodbye to Mum, contemplating if what Alyssa said was true, or if it was just her being nice.

But Alyssa wasn’t nice. So, logically, she must have been telling the truth.

The gate creaked as we exited. Our breaths hitched and we bolted, leaving the door to the cemetery open as we headed directly for the wooded area.

We would need to leave England by morning. I didn’t want to think about what would happen if we stuck around any longer.


End file.
